View the Typography drafts of the 4 students who follow you in alphabetical order on the class roster. Respond to their posts with your kind, helpful and specific feedback. Address all of the following: pacing, color scheme, layout, animation, readability, type face, and intangibles. Please identify a strong element of the work that you appreciate, and offer suggestions on how you feel the work could be improved.
After you have received and read feedback about your piece, post a revised version, as a response to your last critique, along with a description of how you incorporated the feedback you received into your final draft.
My favorite part is the “little wedding chapel,” however, in the very beginning of the quote you have the text moving around a lot in a long chain that makes it a little confusing. Afterwards, there is the “so this is why she…” part, in which the text is unaligned (seemingly on purpose) but there is a lot of blank space and the misalignment is not aesthetically pleasing. The part about the blue suit is good though, except for the fact (and this is my personal opinion) that you used Lucida Sans or a font similar to that for “nice blue suit” and other words…please don’t use that font! Besides the stuff mentioned above, you’re good to go.
I really like your entire video. Pacing is perfect, captivating visuals and very organized. The only thing that seemed off to me was the sudden change in color scheme towards the end of your video. I think you should reconsider transitioning colors so quickly as it might catch the veiwer off guard.
Looks really good. Pacing is perfect, it flows nicely and matches exactly with the voice over. Color scheme is good until the end when it switches to yellow, it looks kind of weird. Then in the corner during the yellow part, where it says “IN A” it turns blue and also looks kind of weird- I don’t think it’s really necessary. Animation is great; everything looks nicely done. My only gripe with this is the weird color changes and how you added in the UHs and UMs. I don’t think you really need to add those in and if you took them out I think the quote would be stronger.
The color scheme and layout make the typography crisp looking, professional, and easy to read. I like how the animation styles change throughout the video – it keeps it interesting. It’s difficult to tell how the pacing is, because there’s no audio yet, but it seems fine. In “The Way We Live Right Now…” part, the “now” kind of gets lost because of its smaller size, but, besides that, everything seems good.
I like your video, the qutoe is nice and I like the colors. The part where it says something about ‘the way we live like this…’ is kind of too fast for me to read. Otherwise I like everything
I like the idea of the quote and layout.
no spelling grammar!
just add the audio to this typography.
I like how smooth your transitions are. The whole thing looks really good, easy to read and cool quote.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocu4-6Vq6Zg
I incorporated the I received from my peers and corrected those little mistakes, I also added and synchronized the voice to go along with the video.
This is awesome! The audio is great, the video is great! Theres just some minor timing issues that need to be fixed. Other than that, its prefect!!
Pacing: Weesnaw
color scheme:Bland, if it is needing to be facilitated as black and white it necessitates a chauffeur of the textural persuasion and wondrous magic enchanting it.
layout: Thine layout has giveth much pleasure to my neural receptors.
animation: Ample
readability: Quite readable
type face: Superfluous. Thine text must be of the similar tone.
Please identify a strong element of the work that you appreciate, and offer suggestions on how you feel the work could be improved.
I do find the order in which the English language appears to be worth my morning scones. To tick all the right boxes, I do say you should slap the old fish with some scrumptious colour and texture as to stimulate the audience.
I like your video but sometimes its hard to follow how quickly the words are on the screen and how they are set up, I would also end the video sooner..but good job
I like your pacing, layout, use of the question mark icon, and monochromatic color scheme. I feel that the images you use compromise the aesthetic of the layout and color scheme a bit. I would consider turning your images into more “logo-like” images in which you make the colors monochrome and use just selections of the main shapes within the image, rather than rectangles or squares.
This video is very well timed! I love how the text keeping a very good pace with the interview. Your audio could be a bit louder and clearer though so we could hear your voices a bit better.
Typography Critique
I like the how you’ve matched each word to the original audio of the interview, although there are a few words where the timing is just a bit off. The simple black and white is nice, but I feel that the font you used requires some color. If you choose to keep the white text and black background, I would recommend to change the font to something that matches the simplicity. If you keep the font, I’d change the colors overall. The way you have the words popping up randomly is nice, but it’s a bit confusing at some parts, maybe as he speaks faster you can change the way the words appear? Something that allows the viewer to process the words as he’s speaking instead of thinking “Oh, -that’s- what he said.” Keeping with the simple theme, I like how there’s little animation, however, going with what I’ve said before, it’s a good idea to keep your theme consistent. The font, now that I think about it, is the bigger problem, try changing that to get that simple feel. Hope that helped.
I really like the quote you chose, but I think it would be more powerful if you didn’t include the question you asked. The quote by itself would stand out more. I like the typeface you used as well. The audio is synced up really nicely. Right around @0:11, the words that pop up are sporadic and even though it’s synced with the audio, it’s hard to follow. Also, is there more to the quote? It cuts off at the end. But I really like the overall typeography
Hey Sha-Shar B! I like how creative it is and does not look like everyone else’s instead it has it’s own feel to it. However, Toward the ending when the words become scattered amongst the page I find that confusing and it makes it hard to keep up with what is being said even though the voice is being played in the backgroud. So as the words pop up on the screen make them go in the order they are being said.
pacing: Ample
color scheme:Also ample but necessitates a more vivacious background
layout: Sufficient
animation: Acceptable
readability: Quite readable
type face: Satisfactory
Please identify a strong element of the work that you appreciate, and offer suggestions on how you feel the work could be improved.
I do quite relish the movement of the characters pertaining to the english language. I do say that chap background could use a change in wardrobe to something with more texture and depth.
pacing: I like. It synchronizes with the words at the exact time dey are supposed to be said. homeboiii. color scheme: I really like. It is da most creative I have seen yet! layout: I like. It is professional and well adjusted. animation: It is Cute. I wanted to do mine like that, but I didn’t know how. readability: Perfect. type face: your face. jk. I like the diversity. and intangibles: idk what that means. but i guess is good, cuz i like your video. I like da music too. Please identify a strong element of the work that you appreciate, and offer suggestions on how you feel the work could be improved. I like how it is formatted, and is real nice.
I like da music and da voice because it makes me feel like i am at a spoken word thing and it sounds deep. Thanks.
Your music and text is very good but your audio is not as loud as it could be. You should also add some emotion to your voice because it is very monotone. Overall it is a very good video.
I agree with Jeff about most of it. I really like the different typeface and colors. I think to make it more interesting you could include some different animation or extend your quote to give it more meaning. I don’t quite see this quote particularly standing out, but to me it feels like there’s more to it that we’re not seeing. But I do like the overall typography.
I’ve included a photo that I took during internship at the end of the video, along with raising the audio levels and changing the timing on a few words.
This is such a good video, I like how at the end you don’t keep writing “and there were” but you highlight it so its noticeable.
You will have to show me how to do all of the little effects you were using.
The colors worked perfectly and how you had different colored words which made me think those were important or had some significance.
The pacing also works really well because everything is not fast and it’s very clear unlike my video so that’s something I will be changing now that I have looked at your video.
This is really good Alex! The words came on at the right times, I like how you have an array of colors and also how you did the flashing affect. I really like how you put emphasis on things by using different types of animations.
I like the font and the subtle colored elements. I think you should show a picture of like a treasure chest to help the veiwers imagine your story better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhMEhi5yQss
For this draft, I altered alignment, timing, and coloring throughout the video, and I changed how the last two words, ‘mercy, mercy’, appear.
EVANGLYN’S VIDEO, YO!
Typography Critique
I like how you’ve kept it simple with the white text and black background, although, it does seem kind of plain. Maybe add some color to the text or the background? The way the text pops up is nice, but the random piece of animation as she says “… blew them away.” seems really out of place. I’d recommend to keep things consistent but either using some more animations, or to keep that part still. The pace is really well done, you’ve done a great job lining up the words and the audio, although it does seem kind of awkward with the pauses in between. If it’s not the original audio from the interview, it might be a good idea to speed it up a little bit. The font is good, but the changes seem a bit odd on “dustbowls” and “away.” I’d say, if you’re going to change the font on individual words, it’d be a good idea to make them stand out: change their colors, make them bigger, maybe even give them their own animations? Hope this helps.
pacing: i like it. it’s creative. color scheme: It is black and white, which i like, but maybe you could have been a little more creative with the font color for example, make da word honey the color yellow or tan. layout:It is creative and cute. animation: i like the part where it says “away,” and readability: It is readable. type face: I like the font. and intangibles: idk what that means. Please identify a strong element of the work that you appreciate, and offer suggestions on how you feel the work could be improved. I like how it is formated. It is random but at the same time it is neat and professional.
The simple text and background work well with this quote because of it’s length. I think it would be more interesting though if you added some more effects to some of the words or placed them in complimentary areas (like stacking them in and order or on top of each other or along side of each other). Also, Siarah’s voice is a bit too quiet, but I like the sound of it. I like the quote because it’s really unique and stands out for that time period.
Your kinetic typography looked decent. I think that you need to adjust the time in some of the parts, specifically where you have the “in.” I barely caught it, and then it threw me off for the next part. Another part, was 3 seconds before and after your “open” animation. It seems like it’s very slow and then jumps to super speed in the next couple seconds. Your kinetic typography is good, but if you improve in these sections, it will be great.
—Machado
Looks good — creative use of animation and kinetic text. At :10 the “t” in “to” partially obscures the last “t” in “that.” This seems to conflict with your overall design aesthetic — clean and orderly.
Also, there are several instances where your text abuts the border of your work. In video there exists a protocol called “title safe,” in which there is a “safe” area left around the border of text to ensure that it is not cut off the screen. One can break this rule by extending well past the border (like when the “o” in “open” opens up), but consider observing the “title safe” protocol.
I like the creativeness to it and the animations are use well, but i think u can fix the timing of it on some parts of your video like around 10 sec its goes a little to fast and threw me off for the next part. Other than the timing I think it’s really good.
Overall: pretty good. Some things seemed a bit off to me, like how some of the words were half uppercase and half lowercase, it was kind of strange. Pacing was a little weird, it was really slow in some parts and really fast in others. I’m assuming this is because the voice over is like that so until you add the audio it’s kind of strange. Color scheme is fine, as well as the layout. Animation is mixed: it’s mostly really good but things like the G in the beginning just look a little off. It really slowly turns into recoGnizes and then it goes away in a kind of awkward way. I would pick a different transition out. Looks good and it should look better with a few minor edits.
Thanks for the critique. I made the slow parts faster and the fast parts slower so that the pacing was consistent. In addition, I added a semi-upbeat audio track in the background since mine is meant to be read.
Final Vid. w/Audio: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7i9JwfSOK2o
Machado’s Draft
Jose Gonzales says:
The animations are going by a little to fast, when the individual words are flying across the screen. That’s the only thing I had trouble reading, the rest of it was pretty good. I liked the animations, they were pretty neat, I might incorporate some of that to my work
“one thing you should know about me” i think that part goes too fast and its kind of hard to read.
i like how the some of the words change into other words
the animations are kind of fast paced and where’s your audio?
anyways overall it’s pretty good and have some really creative points in it.
I like the entire layout, especially the curtains background.
the idea was good. But it seemed like the text was going by too fast.
The font was neat and easy to read.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLHUdPMMdC8
I changed a couple things in the video based on feedback. When the “I” smashes the other words, there used to be a small line on the bottom and I got rid of it. Also, I changed the speed and length of some of the slides to make it flow nicer. I added who the quote was by at the end, and audio. I didn’t change the speed of the quick part in the beginning because I talked to some of the people who gave me feedback and they told me to add audio and then it would be easy to understand as well as look good going fast.
I like it. Its awesome!
At 0:07, why is the text all smooshed? It makes it very hard to read. Im sure it would be easier if the audio was there, but it would still look good if the text was its original format.
i like the effect you use to bring up the brick wall, that makes it look cool. Other than those changes, your video is awesome!
I like your video, but i would make sure to put the audio in and i also would be carful with how many different fonts you put into your video and how you place your sentence’s in the video. But overall good job
To be honest I don’t really like the way the words float away on the first part with the chalk board. But, I do like the part with “A” and “B.” I would make sure your words match up with the audio. In other parts I wouldn’t have sentences on one layer separate the words into layers so you can make the appear at different times or fly in and out.
New Durft urf Typurgurphy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wf9vWitZpBY
I made the floating words stationary at the beginning and fixed the timing to the audio as well as some blocky animation
Maira Vierhellers Video:
I like how you did pictures and the type around the images a lot. However, I would consider animating the text (this is KINETIC typography) and not just pressing live trace in Illustrator on some of the photos (like the speedometer, cop car, or graveyard) so that those images will match the look of the others (like the truck).
I actually really really like this video. It’s different from everyone else’s. I feel that there may be places where you could use more pictures. Like the frame with the highway patrol man and then the filling station could be two different frames. And maybe you could use like lighting to make things more dramatic.
pacing, color scheme, layout, animation, readability, type face, and intangibles
Looks good, it’s the most unique video here and it’s well made. Pacing is good, it’s like a slideshow so it’s pretty easy to read. Black and white works well, with red on important parts of text– and the livetrace effect is nicely implemented. Typeface is fine, I only have one issue with the way you morphed it. On the backpack part it’s bent into a U shape and it just looks kind of awkward; I would change that. Looks good overall.
I like the color scheme, art, and pacing. Perhaps adding some keyframed animation to the slides might make it more compelling. If these are PSDs, you can import them into FCP and animate each layer independently, which could yield some cool results.
In my new second draft I made the words move by adding key frames to the words and some pictures to make them move and have effects. I also applied different effects to for example the speedometer text.
I liked the concept of using pictures to replace words.
There are a couple issues: in at least 3 of your pictures there is unnecessary white space that makes it look…well, bad. You should get rid of the white space (there are a number of ways to do this, which I am sure you know how to do) to make this look a lot more clean-cut, professional, etc. Especially since you keep reusing the nickel image that has this unpleasant white space around it. (Tip: if you get rid of the white space in Photoshop, save it as a .PSD and import it into AfterEffects so that the background transparency is recognized in your composition.)
i like your video but i would add in the clip of him pointing to his stomach at the end..but good job!
I like it. But I think that the font doesn’t really work, as font savvy as you are. With the pictures I think cropping out the extra space so they are not squares would look good. At the end you should find a way to indicate what “this” is. The mail truck is not a post office. I think you should use words for that part. Maybe the when he says mail you could use a picture of an envelope.
I like the quote, and the color scheme and font make it visually appealing and easy to read. Also, the pacing seems good, since the audio and video go at the same pace. I think that the layout of the first section – “Of course I was scared…” – is a little bit spread out, which makes it sort of difficult to follow, and a layout more similar to the second section – “That’s why during…” – might work better. Also, the word “women” at the end of the first section kind of gets cut off, and the words “who did that” in the third section seem a little oddly spaced. Other than that, the video seems good, but do you have any more audio? It might be interesting to continue the quote and let the video go a little longer.
I like the quote that you use, maybe to make it look more polished you can add a layer style to the text and give it a drop shadow. Also, how the words kind of swoop in sometimes makes it hard to follo.w
I like how you chose to arange the words in your quote and the timing was impecable. I think you should maybe include more visual elements like a silouette of the phillipines or like a messed up japanese soldier.
Typography Critique
This is very nice, I really like how you have the “…” that’s replaced with “place.” The pacing is perfect, the colors are nice and simple, while I can tell it’s not finished, it seems to be coming along nicely. This draft is great, keep it up.
pacing: really good. color scheme: I like black and white, but apparently using more colors is “more creative.” layout: It is professional and neat. animation: I like the phone and speech bubble. readability: Font is big and readable. Thanks for dat. type face: Your face. I like da font. and intangibles: idk what those are. but I like your video. Please identify a strong element of the work that you appreciate, and offer suggestions on how you feel the work could be improved. I liked the end part cuz it is creative and you don’t expect it, but it doesn’t seem finished.
I like your quote and the pace of your typography. I think you could make it more interesting with a different background or more effects on the words. The ending seems like it cuts off too early, unless it’s supposed to be like that. Other than that, it’s nice and simple.
Your timing is good but a bit off, and your ending should fade out because it is too abrupt how it ends. Overall it is very good, just fix a few tweeks here and there and you’ll be good.
My second video
I like the way how it ends in a dress. I think you should slow it down at the beginning its hard to read everything. Other than that I really like how it came out.
You should slow it down at the beginning, you show alot of words really fast and there wasn’t enough time to read it all. I like how crisp your video looks, with the bold font and white text on black look. overall your video is the best one that ive seen so far. good job
Typography Critique
I like this, I like how you used the pictures along with the text and the audio. The order of the text was very nice, although I personally think it could use some animation. The green background is nice, but it seems a little plain. Maybe have the color change overtime? Hope this helps.
Hey Brandi! I like the colors and the pictures, however at some points the text is a little bit thin and I find it difficult to read. Also you could make some of the slides a bit more busier like have the text fade in and out possibly?
Jon Silva’s Kinesthetic Typography
I like how your typography is like the only one styled differently than everyone else’s gray gradient with white text. Something that might make it better, is if you cut the text into shorter chunks, and then added some more effects. Also, the last two slides went by a little quick for the amount of text on them.
pacing, color scheme, layout, animation, readability, type face,
Pacing could use some work, the last two sentences don’t really have any motion so you should probably add some. You could just put the typewriter effect on it, and that way it’d be easier to read too. Color scheme looks nice; the green text is pretty interesting. Layout is fine, just need to change the last two sentences. Same thing for the animation. Type face is unique and works well.
I like your color scheme and the use of the bullring and matador as your scene setting. However, it’d be more dynamic to animate the matador independent of the background. Perhaps you could slide him to the other side of the ring partway through the piece, then align the text to the left of him.
Also, the text is difficult to read at times (especially at :13). Experiment with different fonts and layer styles like stroke, glow, and drop shadow.
i like the background but i found it kind of hard to see some of the words at some points and are you writing proper spanish in it because i didnt really understand it.
add voice.
I like the background picture and I also like the fact that you left the quote in spanish, although the text is a little hard to read because of maybe the font size or the color. also think about slowing down the animations. &where is your audio? anyways, overall good job.
I like how your typography has a “unique” background compared to everyone else’s, but the text you have is a bit hard to read when it the colored text lays on the same color of background. Also, one big thing is that some people do not know how to read or speak español. This might be a problem you should consider.
I like the Bull Ring background, but use some different texts colors, probably a color nothing close to what’s in the bull ring. Another thing I was thinking about is how the other people who look at this will understand spanish. I think it’d be neat if you could add both english and spanish typography in one in this video.
I like how you have the text feed into each new word but I would make it longer in someway and I would add a picture or a color in there somewhere as well. But good job.
I really think that your quote is too short. I feel like there could be a lot more cool stuff in the video. I like what you have though! I would try and match your timing up more like the transition with the “G” could be much shorter.
Who said this? This is a quote from Ronald Reagan…and unless you interviewed him, which would be impossible because he is dead, you’re just quoting someone quoting something. Even if this was part of your interview, you should add more to it. Its so short. And if you’re going to use something so short, the typography it self should be more elaborate. Make the text and actual wall. For bring, you could do a wrecking ball.
pacing: Fleeting
color scheme: Bland
layout: minimalistic
animation: Acceptable
readability: Quite readable
type face: Satisfactory
Please identify a strong element of the work that you appreciate, and offer suggestions on how you feel the work could be improved.
I’m not going to troll with this comment anymore XD but I’d like to see an actual wall fall with the word maybe have an actual picture of the announcer and ghorbacheyayevbchhhkk and the background could maybe be the set of a news station or broadcast station at the time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQhVAVqB_1k
Final edit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bRiUHGb2Gk
The font and color scheme make the video easy to read, and the pacing is okay. I think the pacing could be better if you didn’t chop up the audio, and put the words up one by one, rather than in chunks of text. I also think that the words at the end of the video – “for my kids” – stay up on the screen for too long. Instead, is there more of the quote that you could continue the video with? I think that would be more interesting.
Why does the audio cut off a couple times?
is there anyway to fix that?
Maybe you shouldn’t have “for my kids” moving around for a long time… haha
I like how your text bounces around, it helped grab my attention. you should put in your audio track and go back to make your transitions more fluid.
pacing: though the words go fast, the pacing is great and the words and text is synchronized. color scheme: this is by far, the best background I have seen. layout:I like the layout, I wanted to do something similar to this, but i didn’t know how. animation: It made me feel like i was watching the beginning of star wars
readability: It goes fast, but i like that the font is clear. type face: I like the diversity. and intangibles: idk what that means. Please identify a strong element of the work that you appreciate, and offer suggestions on how you feel the work could be improved. I really like it and don’t know if it needs improvement, but it was supposed to be 30 seconds long.
pacing: Satisfactory
color scheme: Reminiscent of the war that hath happened in the stars
layout: Quite the minimalist
animation: Acceptable
readability: Quite readable
type face: Satisfactory
Please identify a strong element of the work that you appreciate, and offer suggestions on how you feel the work could be improved.
I do adore the wondrous flow of text but in the intrinsic nature of thine words of the english language my optic receptors request a banquet of the highest order filled with the portrayal regarding the exploits of accruing the possible trajectories of one’s exploits in the future.
I like the echoey sound you give Erica’s voice but you should keep it like that or start the changing process of her voice earlier rather than later because it makes the video sound off. The wording is a bit fast but other wise your timing is great.
This is super awesome! Super! Like everyone else said, its a little fast. But with the audio, its fine. I like how some of the words disappear to make more words fit in. The stars are a little fast…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkkqTXqkoNI
I changed the background to make the speed of the stars slower, and I put an effect on “SO” to emphasize it. Also, I changed the structure of “so many different aspects”.
Your kinetic typography looks very good and professional. However, I would slow down a couple of the slides, such as the first one, because it goes a bit fast for someone who doesn’t know what your quote is. Other than that, the only thing I would change is your ending. It seems kind of abrupt.
Overall I like the color of the background and the font that you chose for you video, however, you don’t have audio and I think the text moves a little too fast. But good job, just make sure that when you add the audio you make sure it’s synced with the text.
Your typography looks nice but there are some parts were should slow down it down a bit like in the first part that goes by a little fast. Other than that it looks nice and professional.
the part were it says “that was all they gave us” is a bit to fast.
but the rest of the video is fine and easy to read.
the words really dont go along with the audio and its confusing.
make words come out or move once that word is said.
I like the layout… but you have a lot of blank space at the end… maybe try cutting that part out?
*suggestion: change font so its not too simple?
I like the color scheme, how you use black, white, and that light blue. I would even try to incorporate the blue a little bit more later on in your video, so it is consistent throughout. I also like that the background in dynamic, and doesn’t just stay the same throughout. The pacing is a little bit off, though, and I would try to make sure that the audio and video are synced up as much as possible. Also, I would move the “was” down in the first section, because the top seems to have gotten slightly cut off, and I would, after the first part, use the word “well” rather than just having a question mark.
Don’t squish the text, it looks really bad. Synchronize the audio & video, so it’s easier to follow. Use only 1 color, or it will still look really bad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qO13_h1VGak
I like that scary looking font but I don’t think it fits with the main idea of your story. But I don’t like how the text shows up before the voice does, so you should change it so as you talk that’s when the words appear. Also, change the font so it matches your story.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GaW2W0DO4k
Based on comment I added animation to the first part of my typography where it says “when I…” and I also changed some of the text around, mad eit bigger, and made the tone of the text match the tone of my voice, along with polishing up the pace.
Draft #2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YlIJPHM0J0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkHAYAi8DNY
Draft two
made words stay on screen for a shorter time
Audio is good and not cut up anymore
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_jff55fN0A
I changed the first page of words, I reorganized the words so they wouldn’t look as messy and so its easier to read.
I changed the pacing of some of the words so that they would synchronize with the audio. I also added some color, and shortened it because there was like 5 seconds of blankness in my last video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhrbCznUeeI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYUMX8Z7uP8
EVANGLYN’S FINAL DRAFT
http://youtu.be/6zVPkGfDoRg
The changes are made were that I made the words more in sync with the audio in the video. I also made the text easier to read by slowing it down a little. Even though no one commented on my last video to tell me that I needed to change the color scheme, I did make minor changes to that.
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